Painted pastures of past time/the bed we made

I look for him in SHADOWS
created by a cloud
the weeping willows sway
but the doves . . . they fly away

I closed the door today
of what may confuse my pain
its all for the best i know
yet i wollow in deep, deep shame

i didn't see this coming
like a theif in the night
he stole my heart and time
i dance the songs, i rhyme

i can not bring him back
where for art thou? . . . i must say
push away my friend?
no 'sorry' can ever be made

i gaze at past prisons
i smile, a grin in sin
erase, misplace, delete
so i can sleep more delicately

what's funny about it all
he is the only one . . .
i fall, i fail, fight over
i caused the tears to fall
in fall, I thought - start over?

we always want back,
of that we can not have
the only thing with me,
i actually can forgive . . . my bEd.