[ACCEPTANCE]

Acceptance

...is all we ever want. It can change our current mood and cause a difference in our perspective. 

Acceptance

...isn't when you void out the person for their gifts alone. Their gift IS who they are: their pain, their voice, their promise (past, present, future).

The background story is important. If we judge based off of natural human emotion and response, we are choosing NOT to accept the person. 

We hurt and harm when we don't feel accepted. We silence and separate when we don't feel accepted. We push and we fight because we WANT acceptance.

If we only acknowledge the gift, we forget that their is a story...to ACCEPT. 

--- 

How do you feel about these statements? 

"I am only considered to be talented because I'm a person not fully accepted."

"I am talented because its the only way I can receive an once of acceptance." 

"I use my talent to be more accepted."

-Dionna PridGeon 

Buried Alive.

9/23/13

Within my skin, I sin from wins
Not actually winning at all
Just gaping ends
I had a friend
A friend who took me in

Unwrapped me
Held me
Knew just when -
When to dig me out...
out the dirt
The pain that caused 
depths of dealt with worth

Unfolded my arms
Uncrossed My legs
Lift up my head
Tilt down instead
Brushed away my tears
from fears and years -
Years of solid doubt 

On my side 
My rib 
My back 
As flat with open eyes 
I hear no sounds
No breath to catch
just stiff, the way I'm bound

Bored to death
No memory left
To motivate my mind
I lie here
Wonder
Reasons why
No one can hear me sigh

Be...Fragile.

Be gentle in strokes that create 

For art, like glass, fall to pieces 

Brushed away in garbage-filled pails 

Spoken by unlovely tenses

Be sure to love me gently 

Marked fragile across my chest

Like sharp corners rough and jagged 

My skin is a womb of compassion 

Everything I touch turns to Stone

Pigmented from pale, dry, erased 

the red in their eyes gazed back, "No more!"

I live by alive, not awake 

Be simple with your sentences 

Each noun objectifies me

No ending, today is like sorrow 

Tomorrow, I thought left a PLEASE! 

The grays the winter I wore

Were back to black, a hole

The colors were meant for rare occasions

I felt like getting dressed: UNKNOWN

Though, I stand out from my back 'gift' in pocket 

While in front, my confidence speaks loud

Be proud of my quiet humility 

The leaves that I rake, hollow vows

No army of foreign appeals 

A camera crew guarding my land  

Laid inside me, the glitz and the gamble

While no one can hear my voice 

Be careful not to arouse me 

My rage hidden by feet in the dust 

[Part 2]

Be careful when you hold my hand,

I may need you in the mourning

A hug is my comfort land 

When breathing is breath and breath means nothing 

Be casual when closing your eyes

You may see me in your memory 

Laughing aloud, causing harm

Under my parched, pear tree 

Head on my pillow 

Tears by my ears 

Facing my fears 

As the years old, become clear 

Be boxed and uncaged by the madness 

The emotions, we all know and love 

Be concerned with that package marked: FRAGILE 

INSIDE... a woman, her story, her words. 

my L.ove from far A.way

my L

my A 

my love away

my landing alleyway

y miss the la

the la la land 

the land that made me gray

the sight I see

through eyes of ease 

is where I landed once

I made it, made a name or shelf? 

still nameless, here I scoff 

the la la laughing 

that laughed at me

a wave of smiles beat down 

to mold me 

make me? 

miss my what?

fears, but flawless ummm...

I cali forget 

the edge of me 

that debbie, i first wanted 

the movement that is life in me

millenniums never noticed 

I dodged the A in hollywood

I lived in an artist loft

I tried a new evolution 

somehow the carnival stopped...?

An interesting package.

dented hearts

that overdosed 

overdid

Now overdue

Scratched & scared 

but scarred for life

Wounded bits 

of picky notes 

Tinted

Toxic

Tipping over 

Desperate for attention 

A crumbled package 

caged bird 

A young, naive

Invention

:A Heart of COLD

The nerves

The curves 

The crooked road 

Traveled 

& Unraveled 

Damn the damage!

Damaged goods 

The damage love 

We packaged 

UNTITLED.

I wollo, wobble where I go
I do not know
The to or fro
The past 
The pout
The pissed off sniffs
The shade
The fade
From brutal lips
I slip and slide through life somehow
I find 
I fight 
These echoes now
Await me
Deadly dazzled drips
Of cold
That calm my feeble hips
I tip tip toe
Through wounded wrists
I cry the sigh of:
What do this?
No (cow)onward
I SPEAK MY MIND: 

The meek, the many
Mumbled moans
Tones that roam 
My achy groans
No bed I go
No sleep in sight
The might at night
Is more than fright
Fly kites in days
To pass the time
Will I be fine ... Just 1 more time? 

Howl at the Maan!!!

...in heightened, heated passion
A heavy plate of WHOAS!
A heap of hell-blown history
A shot with bloody holes

I hear his hot & heavy tongue
Hissing near my ear
My heart, hell-bent, beat faster
Hot echoes like hard gold spears

Him, who me? He HURT me!
I had to handle this one
Hung letters in hate filled honey
To match his heavenly manner

The words i heard weren't different
He harbors no new hues
My inherently harvested hatred,
...His wisdom, hoistered in his shoes

No hands of healing virtue
handsome ways and full of wealth
I hurried along his anger
To end this heroic stealth

The high/the HI,
unhealthy angles
The howl I had to cast
Hydrated hills to cure my thirst
Of heaping hollow hash

Oh hell was here!
He'll be ok
With a forsaken haze in glaze
This house we built was never a home 
nor haven for my halo rays

Hark! My harp is playing hums
That humble hyper tendencies
Hypnotize me happily!
To the gate halfway, I heave

The hacking into personal lives
The random hippy hook-ups
The 'homegirl' 
The happy to see you, 
The HEY! So gay 
Halfway in between a hip-hop HURRAY! 
Paying homage to MY holiday

my 'hipster husband' I imagined 
Happened to hop away
Now a hockey puck, I hit with: Fuck...
You! I sensed the hmph and huff

I handcuffed myself to the moment 
Humiliating my human form 
My hobby, guns
My words, hay wire!
My hormones could hide no more

The good in me, a homonym
No heroin, but a heroine 
No hero wins, through hurtful winds
Or Losing honor...a horrible hood

I never wore a watch

I watched him as I took these steps
I never thought I could

I must have called out for him 
Through tears and carved out wood

Why did he speak to me? Just me? 
When calm, held nerves of faint 

I hoped that he would see me soon 
Before memories got erased

This moment was of a good time
A long awaited night 

Past regrets in sullen times 
Were passed by - by that flask of mine

Will he ever know my thoughts...
How he managed to open my trappled heart?

Helped me to see the world anew 
The world I thought had fallen apart? 

Comparatively Speaking.

Comparing lives...

Not by surprise 

But does it lead to caring? 

Comparing lives 

From time to time 

Comparing lives is scary

Comparing lives 

From evil eyes 

The past in present ways 

Comparing lives 

Left in disguise 

While others see no haze

Comparing lives 

Through troubled eyes 

Can cause the heart to stop 

Unmotivated states, irate!

the streams of conscious thought 

Comparing lives 

Can bring you down 

A frown upon your face 

Comparing lives 

2 journeys spun

Like spiders who create 

Comparing lives 

Prove to be 

The hazard to us all 

Comparing lives 

Is less than how 

To live a life that's NOW!

Comparing lives 

Is a gamble 

We once made yesterday 

The mind comes back to how we were

When lives went separate ways 

Shall we start over again?

We tip toe through tough territories 

That were meant for us times 2

The tone of the morning after 

Tease testy silent chews 

Awake I am to you

The distance isn't hard 

I bow and beg to you

As pillows guard my brow

I stare your name till death 

As psychics offer view 

I speak as silent to myself 

And glance, the ceiling blue

Pass through past mistakes

With calmness in my voice 

My understanding of this plague,

Is toxic breaths of curse 

...bathing over my body 

As time has made me steal

Like harden rocks of candy 

My beauty in words so real 

Awake I am to you 

Asleep I am to me

Distant I am to you 

...Quiet honesty

'Let Go,' but is a native

A common thread to tell

The tell of a tall-tale heart

Standing, selfish, a stubborn shell

I pull back when I have to

I erase my fears to please 

My needs are placed aside

Spilling over, tons of grease 

I never marked a mishap

I was never able to out due

My constant real-life mistake 

has definitely turned into to you

The reason I can not run...

Run away in the literal sense 

Run away from heavy thoughts 

Run away? My arms, an open fence 

This mistake has me ordained

By secrets in my heart 

The reasons for all the rain 

= Our season from the start.

my balloon

He saved my soul today
Yesterday
The day before...
I count 3 days of triumph 
I wish there were much more 

He saved me from my wicked self 
I drowned 
I'm drowning now...
I drown in past penny savers 
That peak through, stealing rounds 

He is...
No, not my savior
I wouldn't place him there 
an angel seems to fit the mode 
The stars that shine above my head

He's like a breeze passing by 
A breeze that closed my eyes
A calm, cool breeze that starts at noon
A breeze like breath...my balloon!

He carried me out by surprise
He carried away my swollen eyes
He carried me away through time...
"Time capsule, please keep this prize!" 

I do not know just who he is
Or what he is to me
I only know of how I felt
The day my soul was FREE! 

I miss my ummm...

6/15/13

miss me?
miss u
Missy E

maybe . . .
IMY2 - IC
i miss u more
more than before
i messed up
why i missed this door
the door that opened up for me

be free
free to be me
miss love?
. . . yup! that's me

miss merry memories,
many moments,
mountain molds

Mr. Stop!
mis - taken
mistakes
miscommunicate

a missing persons
was just turned in
a mystery?
nope! me miss my friend.
-----------
to be continued.

[a love unknown]

a love
this love
the love of my life.

what's his name?
LOVE.

first name: Love.
last name: Love.
Middle initial has an L . . . 
must be love?

Do you know that song:
SAME LOVE?

he danced that song . . . about love!
actually, not that kinda of love
though i wish this love . . . was LOVE.

I'd hold on like a glove!
. . .
to be continued.

I can not change . . . for you.

I can not change
I am
as is
as is can be
no apologies for past mistakes
mistakes are what makes us free
free from what we feared
free from who we'd be
free from holding on
free from tears held deep

I can not change
I am
as is
as is can be
no fake
no apologies
just real, just honesty
hard crusted on the outside
smooth center in the middle
guard rusted from all dismay
unlocked my heart will stay

I can not change
I am
as is
as is can be
you despise me
hate me
rate me
rape me of who I be
determined to communicate
the words mean nothing more
words wash over cracks
the cracks have broken more

I can not change
I am
as is
as is can be
you sit
a winner now?
a winner now, but how?
your point was made
you win?
the sin . . . not to comprehend

You are a change to me
You are
as is can be
you are
no knight with shiny armor
you are as dark as me

You can not change
You can't
you are
the one I know
the one I did not see
the one I do not know.

Painted pastures of past time/the bed we made

I look for him in SHADOWS
created by a cloud
the weeping willows sway
but the doves . . . they fly away

I closed the door today
of what may confuse my pain
its all for the best i know
yet i wollow in deep, deep shame

i didn't see this coming
like a theif in the night
he stole my heart and time
i dance the songs, i rhyme

i can not bring him back
where for art thou? . . . i must say
push away my friend?
no 'sorry' can ever be made

i gaze at past prisons
i smile, a grin in sin
erase, misplace, delete
so i can sleep more delicately

what's funny about it all
he is the only one . . .
i fall, i fail, fight over
i caused the tears to fall
in fall, I thought - start over?

we always want back,
of that we can not have
the only thing with me,
i actually can forgive . . . my bEd.